I kept thumbing aimlessly through my Bible three days in a row. My previous years of desperation and excitement to draw near to the Lord, had built the habit—but on these particular days, my heart wasn’t fully in it. Still, I walked heavily on. I mean coming cold was better than not coming at all, right? It’s so tempting to quit reading the Bible when it seems like nothing is sticking, or you feel blah!
Why pray if your heart feels half hearted? Why persevere when the scriptures don’t seem to say anything specifically about your situation and circumstances? I get it. Years of reading the same Bible in the same space, with the same dead feeling inside, passed me by. I simply felt like I was in imposter syndrome mode. We’d reached the other side of answered prayers, but my heart was cold and soul dry. I didn’t want to follow Jesus like this—He deserved my best!
But if we're honest with ourselves, there’s no in-between. Either you follow Him or you don’t. You submit to his word or you don’t. What I'm trying to convey is emotions are not truth-tellers, and our swayed feelings are the worst instructors and GPS to follow. When subjected to the authority of God’s Word, they can rightly express what is affected, stirred up or even grieved. But they do not get to call the shots when it comes to following Jesus. When the feelings don’t come along with the determination to obey the Lord, this is when perseverance gets to do its good work. Perseverance is moving forward when everything in you resists.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance (James 1:2-4).
According to James, it takes trials in order for perseverance to mature. And while you may hesitate to call a spiritual dry spell a trial, God may use this very season to lay the groundwork for perseverance to mature. On every gray day of spiritual dryness that you come to him with a cold heart, you practice perseverance. He is training you and I to come to Him even when you don’t feel like it, so that you’ll be sure to come to him during those difficult seasons. The beauty and motivation here is that, no matter how cold your heart may feel, the Lord will meet you when you come to him in His word. His presence is promised whether you’re aware of it or not. And the more you practice coming, the more aware of His presence you’ll become.
Remember, God is always teaching us something even through the leftovers, or things we think are useless to Him. We need to remember who he is and what he has done in order for us to be persistent in our faith. His word is a sword that both protects and defends. Though we’re tempted to settle for temporary fixes, the word anchors us in the depths of God’s endless sufficiency. The Lord is the one who satisfies our heart’s hunger. In the Bible many of David’s psalms begin with doubt and end with hope. May we be hopeful during our cold days and nights. This is why we rise early to meditate on his promises or spend our lunch hour studying his words.
When our hearts struggle to absorb the scriptures, God's word does not lose its power. When our emotions are slow to catch up to truth, the Lord doesn’t and will not abandon us. Keep drawing near to God allowing His word to consume your heart and thaw what’s cold. Don't let the enemy trick and treat you with you needing to be perfect or altogether before coming to God. You and I serve a God who meets us where we are. His love is unconditional.
Love and Blessings, until next time.
God's girl 🌈